Chapter 5:
Raya took a deep breath and opened the door to see Taylor standing there in jeans and a simple long sleeve white shirt. He had a little scruff on his face and his blue eyes peeked out from behind a few strands of blonde hair that had fallen onto his face. He was cuter than she remembered.
“So I was hoping maybe you were a wine drinker,” Taylor said holding up a bottle of wine.
Raya smiled, “Oh I am.”
“Good cuz so am I.” Taylor walked in and gave Raya a quick hug.
“Have a seat and I'll go get the glasses,” Raya said motioning to the living room.
“Do I not get a tour or anything first?” he smiled.
She wasn't exactly expecting company, “My house is a little messy.”
“I'm living with 2 other guys, what do you think ours looks like?” Taylor laughed.
So Raya gave him a quick tour avoiding opening her bedroom door that Lindsay had trashed. They ended up back in the living room with wine glasses sitting on the couch.
“So can I ask you something?” Taylor asked after about 30 minutes of small talk.
“I guess so,” Raya said pouring more wine into both of their glasses.
“Why didn't you ever like call or write or anything?” he asked. Was that pain that flashed across his eyes?
Raya took a big gulp. What was she supposed to say? Her mother wasn't the only one who sunk into a depression after the split. But she wasn't about to say 'Oh I just hated life and didn't care about anything or anyone anymore and I figured that nobody would miss me.'
“I guess it was just too hard,” she managed to say.
“I really missed you. I never thought I'd see you again,” he admitted running his hand through his hair.
She didn't really miss a whole lot of people during that time. She was too numb to feel anything. She would occasionally wonder if Taylor was missing her, or even thinking about her, but she would push happy thoughts out of her mind. Which meant Taylor definitely had to be pushed out of her mind. It took until she was about 20ish to even be able to log on to her computer and see what Hanson was up to. By then she had coped with everything and could be happy again.
Raya smiled and looked down at the couch cushion she was on, “I just figured that perfect life was over so why look back.”
“My mom tried to track your mom down for awhile, but was never able to.”
“Probably because we never stayed in one spot for too long.”
“Obviously, you live in LA now.”
Raya laughed, “Yup, but I've been here for 3 years. I doubt my mom has stayed still for the last 3 years.”
“Do you still talk to her?”
Raya shook her head, “Not at all.”
“What about your sisters?”
“Well Katelynn and Madison have both moved out. Katelynn is actually back in Tulsa going to college living with our grandma. Madison ended up at Washington State University on a softball scholarship. I talk to them most because they've separated from our mom. Then Grace and Ashlee are both still with my mom. I think they are in Austin, Texas now, but last I talked to Grace she was talking about packing up both her and Ashlee and going to live with my grandma too. Which would be for the best really.”
“I can't believe things changed so much, so fast,” Taylor said in disbelief taking a sip of his drink.
“You're telling me.”
* * * * *
Raya got comfortable with Taylor again after a few hours of talking. It wasn't as bad as she imagined it being. He seemed to be okay with the fact that she wasn't the perfect goody-good girl anymore even though she didn't really get into all the actions of her recent life. She was just giving out information on a need to know basis.
It actually felt really good to have this person that used to be so important to her back in her life again. He was probably the only person she would be okay with letting back in though. He was close to being family, but wasn't really family and that's probably what made it okay.
“So here is the ultimate question.” Taylor said. The two had moved on to a second bottle of wine causing them to be a bit goofy and tipsy.
“What's that?” Raya asked pulling her hair back in a messy ponytail.
“Are you, Raya Lewis, still a virgin?” Taylor asked.
She laughed, “Why do you ask that?”
“Because I remember you back in the day and you gave me hell for losing my virginity before marriage.”
“Yeah, sorry about that...”
“So are you?”
“No,” she laughed.
“Really? So all those morals you once had went were?”
“Completely thrown out the window. Come on, you saw where I work. Do you really think that I can be such a goody-good and work there?”
Taylor laughed, “Guess not... maybe I was just hoping.”
“Why would you hope for something like that?”
“I don't know. I guess it's just a rare thing for young people to have morals like that these days. Even though I would give you crap about it, I was always proud of you for sticking to you guns no matter what. I was rooting for you to be the one who succeeded through her teenage life staying true to what she believed.”
Raya didn't really want to hear that. That was what she was worried about. Disappointing people.
“Honestly Taylor. I lost a lot of that faith and stuff the second my dad left. And really I'm happy with my life, so I have no regrets. It just didn't end up being for me.”
“I think it's you.”
Raya shook her head, “No it's not.”